If sexuality is fluid, How do I know whether I am gay or non- gay. I wonder how people discover their sexuality. I am 42 year old and have neither been married nor has no children.
I have had several failed relationships but have led the life of a bachelor for most of my life. I always had a very strong relationship with my mother; always close to
each other and she counsel me a lot.
Absolutely i have nothing that suggests I can be nothing but heterosexual, my bulk muscled chest and the environment that I live in would indicate I am very “straight”. My active past of relentless pursuit of woman was a hurdle in the beginning of my current relationship and he still most of my pal are females.
A place where many women labelled me womanizer and truly, while single, I seemed to have an absolute obsession with women. I rarely ever go on social site anymore for fear that will get more and more women hitting on me.
But if you look a little harder into my life, you will see my porn collection is predominately of "gay sex". I kiss the bottle a bit too many and less inhibited when under the influence at which time I admit to a few "bi" experiences and loves same sex act with dildos and once I took my girlfriend to a popular gay club.
When sober, all these exhibitions disappear but still, always prefer cuddling with men to sex. To be sincere I am yet to have sexual encounters with my many girlfriends not once it looks strange but I cannot explain either. In fact, while sober, rarely ever even touches her "there" except some circumstances when a lady tried to drag my manhood to sex.
My current girlfriend has the sex drive and a figure that most men would love from a woman. Yet she is left sexually frustrated and misses out on many intimate pleasures. Even kissing is limited to sweet pecks. Passionate kissing is another deprivation. Only when I push her too far that I manage to suddenly “pull out” momentarily.
She has tried to end the relationship more than once, but, despite it all, we seem to share a love that runs far deeper than the flesh and neither has any idea how to let go. Aside from the sexual incompatibility, as a man I will do anything for her, wants her at my side 24/7.I also pressures her to move in with me.
Even my neighbours talk about how much we love each other. But is she to give in to a life of sexual neglect? Repeated discussions and occasional fights have done some but minimal good to change things. And who wants to force someone to do anything, or be someone they're not? Not I.
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