How to talk about being gay

I get a lot of email from guys who want to talk to friends about being gay. In some cases they want to tell their friend they are Gay. Sometimes they want to know if a friend is. The really hard part is deciding how to bring the subject up.

Here is my suggestions

Bring up the subject casually by asking if they have crush on anyone. You could try asking who they think is cute. Talking about celebrities or people you both know can open the topic without giving away that you are gay. Bring up the gay issue with them.

Try to pick a current topic for discussion by asking them what they think of gay marriage or gays in the military or similar item. From their answers you will be able to get an idea if they are homophobic or not. It's safe to talk about celebrities. Ask if they watch some current tv program with gay or lesbian characters. Talk about the show and watch how your friend responds. For example, if there is a news story about female celebrities kissing ask if your friend has ever or would consider kissing another girl. Speak up and let people know how you feel. If someone tells a gay joke, make a point of saying that you don't think it was funny. If someone calls someone else a "fag" or says something disrespectful about gays, b sure to stand up for them.

Is there someone in your school or circle of friends that is gay, lesbian or bisexual? If so, mention that person's name and see how you friend reacts. Not getting anywhere with the above steps? You my decide it's time to be more blunt by asking the big question, "Are you ……?" or hint that you've been thinking about another guy or girl as the case may be. Also be prepared that they may turn the question around to your own sexuality. In all the above relax and remain cool. Discussing sexual orientation can be very stressful so think about it carefully before you begin.

Tips: Don't press the subject if you see your friend is uncomfortable. Drop it and change the subject. Don't just ask someone about their sexual orientation unless you are good friends with them. Chose the right time and place for the conversation. Someplace private where you cannot be overheard and are not likely to be interrupted is important. Start without admitting your orientation. Instead of saying, "I'm gay (or lesbian)," try "I think I might be gay (or lesbian)." Instead of asking your friend if he is gay. Ask, "Have you ever felt attracted to another boy?" This is  easier on your friend and doesn't broadcast that you think he is definitely gay.